Monday, April 11, 2011

Memories of what used to be

We have been so busy that I haven't gotten around to all of those fabulous park reviews I was going to write. What a departure from normal! :)

Since I honestly have nothing exciting that I NEED to share with the greater interwebs--we're doing great here, by the way--I just want to share a sweet thing that happened to me.

My grandma passed away 18 months ago. We were very close. I feel as if I lost a great source of wisdom since her death. I honestly believed at times during my childhood and teen years that she was the only person in the world who loved me unconditionally. Now looking back and as a parent myself, I can see how my parents loved me unconditionally too, but they had to discipline me. Grandma rarely had to do that. She just loved me and we had an awesome relationship. I remember only a couple of times when I felt as if I had really and truly disappointed her, and it was incredibly jarring, nearly as bad as feeling as if I had disappointed God.

Just this morning I was feeling as if I really needed her here so I could ask her some questions about marriage, child-rearing, all of the stuff I feel as if I need way more help on now that I'm married and the children are all here. Back when I first married and first had children, she was there and an incredible resource.

Since I don't have the ability to conjure spirits I sent a dear older lady a note asking her some of the things I would have asked Grandma this morning if I had the chance. Imagine my surprise this evening when I received a sweet note from this friend with a great bit of helpful advice that included her calling me "dear heart." I don't think this is an incredibly common thing to say to/call someone, but Grandma used to call me that. Among other pet names, she used to call me (and probably others in my family, but I'm the one who matters in this story today right here and now ;)) "dear heart" all of the time. Since she was the only one I ever remember calling me that, imagine my surprise at hearing that (well, reading it in this case) again tonight. All I could do when I read the note was sob.

Tonight I will have sweet dreams not only of my dear late grandma but also of the other sweet older ladies who are still here and still founts of wisdom and care, here in my life as gifts from God to help teach me how to be a better wife and mother.